Being a woman, I realize from my own awareness’s and other women around me that we think we are valuable and lovable for things that we do or a status that we hold. Are we really only lovable if we have a great job that brings in substantial income, raise outstanding children,  keep a clean home or prepare meals like an iron chef? Perhaps the mind  tells us to fulfill one of these things or something different. What does your mind tell you? Perhaps there is a list of things that the mind is telling us to accomplish and THEN we will be lovable. What does that mean exactly? What does it really mean to be lovable? Is it that we are finally worthy to find ourselves as good and whole? Is it that we are finally able to accept a compliment without brushing it away? I remember I used to respond to the question “what do you do” with, “I am JUST a stay at home mom,” and I would feel bad about it! There was something inside of me that said that “job” wasn’t good enough. What did I have to do to become lovable and worthy? Would me working make me more acceptable and lovable? What if I had no job and no kids and my husband supported me, am I worthy of love?

What I have become aware of is that we are only love and when we don’t see ourselves as such we are blocking ourselves from seeing it. We don’t have to do anything to be worthy of love. I believe we are all a sliver of God, the Divine, Source, whatever you would like to call it. We as souls, wandering around on this planet are all part of God, who is only unconditional love. So if I am created from unconditional love, this would mean that I am love. The question is, why do I feel so bad about myself?

It’s because we learn at a young age that “we are bad,” “we make mistakes,” “we do something ‘wrong’ and get punished” etc. Well my friends, it’s all an illusion. Our minds go haywire leading us to believe “it” knows how to make us fit in, feel acceptable and become lovable. We must listen to our minds. It’s not true!

It’s time we realize that WE ARE ALL a part of God and the only reason we ever feel bad about ourselves is because we have simply forgotten that. If we are not living a life everyday looking in the mirror saying “I love you” it’s our mind telling us “not yet…you will be lovable when….” THIS IS NOT TRUE! In fact it’s impossible! We are already love! Accept this fact! What I realized is that it was ME that was blocking myself from feeling acceptable and lovable. No one else had that power over me, it’s how I THINK I am seeing myself in the world.

Is the person living on the streets as a homeless person and a socialite in NYC deserve any more or less love? Each person is simply having a different GOD experience. God is flowing through both people, having beautiful experiences in both scenarios. Life is just a series of experiences and we are lovable in each and every one of them.

The mind tends to term something as bad or unlovable if what you are doing or how you are living is not meeting the minds (ego) expectations.

How do we break this?

Ask yourself one question…

“What do I have to do or when will I become lovable?”

I encourage you to really sit with this question and find your truth on it.

The answer may surprise you…you might already be lovable.

How often do we hear, “How does that make you feel?” versus “What do you think about…?”

When we begin asking ourselves “How does this make me feel” throughout the day we begin to shift our energy into the right brain, the intuitive, feeling part of our brain. This is where we connect into our essence, our soul, God. This question pulls our energy from the head and places it in our heart.

Many of us sit with unanswered questions about a relationship, a job, moving etc. we try so hard to ‘figure it out’ (which puts our energy in the head) when all we need to do is ‘sit with it’ in the heart and feel our truth. When we choose to feel something we get the answer from our divine essence, our soul, it’s the highest truth. We cannot get it wrong.

Start asking yourself, “How does this make me feel?” then come up with your feeling. Just be with it. There is nothing to ‘do’ with it. When we feel like we would like to take action or tell someone etc. we have shifted back into our left brain, our logical side, we have given power to the ego to take over. The ego reacts from fear, this will get us nowhere. Staying in the heart is the most empowering choice we can make for ourselves.

I noticed while stopping at a red light yesterday, I (unconsciously) picked up my cell phone. I was going to read a text and email. I instead sat there, radio off, put the phone down and asked myself ‘how do I feel?’ I was surprised to find that I felt uncomfortable with sitting there doing nothing! So I sat with my ‘uncomfortable’ feeling. This feeling dissipated after a minute and then I felt neutral. I was so excited that I pushed through! It was incredibly empowering. Every other red light I came to I just sat, present moment and was ‘with’ myself, completely. It felt amazing!

We can’t minimize the little moments like the red lights. We must find present moment and stay in our feeling place with the big moments and small. In our society we have a million things that can distract us and pull our attention away from the present moment, cell phones, texting, emails and computers are some of the biggest.

By continuing to ask ourselves this question, neurological pathways will re-route in the brain. Before you know it you will not have to think to ask yourself this question, it will become automatic.

When we are with our feelings, good or bad, we will stop reacting to what people say or do. The moment we react, we have given our power away, no one can take our power, it is only given. Sit and feel to find your truth, and hold your power. Ask yourself the question, “How does this make me feel,” and change your life forever.